Come Back Be home
by Caskettastic
Summary: Kate's had a rough day and ends up taking her frustration out on Castle. What happens when it all gets too much to handle? (Future Caskett Fiction) Disclaimer: I do not own Castle.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

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Chapter 1

It had been a rough day for her at work. Kate Beckett was exhausted and all she wanted to do was reach home and drop dead in her bed in the arms of her man, her husband, her Castle.

But not before snuggling with their three year-old Alex and putting him to sleep with a soft lullaby hummed in his tiny ears...

She was driving home now and her hands ached to even hold the wheel… her entire body was craving some kind of relief... and she knew just the right way to get it… all she needed was a hot bath and Castle.

When she turned the key in the loft's door, she expected to be greeted by her three year old and her better half. What she didn't expect was to find the entire living room in a mess, Castle nowhere to be seen, toys strewn all over the floor, the TV blasting with 'Transformers' playing on it..

And among all this mess, sat her three year old, blue eyed boy giggling and waving out a toy at her "Mommy!" he said…

"Oh baby... where's daddy?"

Kate threw her bag on the couch and reached down to carry her son in her arms... even though every muscle in her body hurt… she felt no pain when it came to holding her baby boy.

"Daddy witing". Alex was in that phase in a kids life where pronouncing the 'R's was too much effort.

"Daddy left you all alone here?" Kate asked her son, while walking carefully through all the mess in search of Castle.

She was tired and now utterly angry with Castle for leaving their child unattended in the living room to go and write in another room…

what if he tried to climb somewhere and slipped what if he went into the kitchen and touched something sharp, what if he had to swallow something tiny and choke... Kate didn't want to think of the possibilities... and that made her even more angry at the irresponsibility Castle was showing by leaving Alex unattended.

He'd never done this before and it shocked Kate. And she didn't even want to begin with the mess all over the living room.

"Rick?" she called out while walking to his study...

on getting no response from him she called again nearing the door now

"Castle... where are you?"

Alex had snuggled his tiny little face into the crook of his mother's neck and sucked on his little thumb... a habit he had picked up whenever he was sleepy…

Kate's hand was rubbing soothing circles on the little boys back... an action that came to her without her knowledge whenever Alex laid his head down on her shoulder. 'Motherly instinct' she'd call it.

Kate pushed the door open to find Castle sitting at his desk, his laptop open in front of him, but his head down on the desk, with his eyes closed. If it wasn't for the soft gruff sound of his breathing, Kate would have panicked.

But instead she simply walked in a few more steps and called out to him louder this time "Castle!"

He sat up with a start and his eyes opened wide, then he rubbed them a bit and looked in Kate's direction and then back at the laptop screen in front of him and exclaimed to himself  
"That's it! I got it"

his fingers started flying over the keys in front of him, and his eyes were trained on the bright screen in front of him.

"Castle... I'm talking to you!"

Without looking away from the screen he said "yea... just a minute Kate…"

Kate sighed in frustration... "Castle we need to talk!"

"I'll only take another minute Kate… just hold on okay!" all the while his fingers moved over the keys like they were making love

Kate turned around and stormed out of the study and into Alex's room. Castle was getting on her nerves tonight for some reason and she wanted to sort it out with him right now... so she laid Alex down in bed and tried to calm her nerves down for him… she tucked him in, cozy under his blanket and the tired little boy was trying to fight the sleep that was coming to him..

"Mommy, I love you"

"I love you too honey, now stop trying to stay awake and close those blue eyes..."

she smiled at him… and then leaned in and placed a soft kiss on the little boys forehead... his skin soft and smooth under her lips… the strong inhale she took of him was filled with a fragrance so innocent it made her heart melt…

"I love you" she whispered again.. And her son entered through the portals of dreamland.

Kate walked back into Castle's study... thinking up ways to talk to him without losing her cool... she's been having a bad day ever since the minute she stepped into the precinct today... she didn't want to start a fight with her husband now too…

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**AN: Things might get a little OOC.. but i still hope it'll keep you glued :) let me know what you think in a review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

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Chapter 2

He was still typing away at his desk... she stood in front of the desk... folded her arms across her chest and spoke... "Castle, look at me"

"Can this wait Kate...? I really need to finish this tonight…"

Kate instantly pushed his laptop screen down... closing it in front of him saying sharply  
"No it can't wait..."

"What the hell Kate... that wasn't even saved!" he panicked

"Explain to me why there's such a mess in the living room and why Alex was sitting unattended in there"

"he was playing... I put the movie on for him and then he got sleepy…"

"So you left him there to what? Fall asleep?"

"What? No! He fell asleep on the couch... so I tucked him in... And came in here to get some writing done. Trust me... he was asleep when I came in here"

"Well so were you when I came in here!"

"Kate I wasn't sleeping! I must have just dozed off for a minute when you entered…"

"That's not even the point Castle... What if something had to happen to him while you were in here?"

"Kate…"

"No Castle... I don't understand what it was so important for you to write tonight that you completely forgot that you're a father now…"

she was losing control over her emotions now… her tired mind not thinking before letting the words out... her cool was slipping..

"You can't just do what you want anytime you want" she was raising her voice at him

"Kate... you're way out of line here… I wasn't in the same room as him but…" Castle spoke firmly, not willing to just listen to her yell at him and take it all... he didn't deserve it.

"You know, I see it now Castle..."

"See what?!"Castle asked, confused.

"Gina, Meredith… your failed marriages… I bet it had something to do with the way you get so engrossed in your writing that you hardly pay attention to what's going on"

Kate regretted it the minute it was out there. Castle stood up and in an effort to keep his cool… yet with anger showing through his body language, he said

"How dare you say such a thing... you of all people Kate!"

Kate knew this was getting out of hand... but she had no control over her anger anymore... she was saying things that had no relevance to why this fight even started...

"From the time I've walked through the door Rick... you've been typing endlessly! Not even once did you look up to acknowledge my presence... I have a tough job castle... when I come home I want to be able to have the full attention of my husband!"

"What are you implying Kate? That I don't have a job, my Job is not as important?! Writing is my job Kate!"

"You're not actually Catching the killers Castle!" she yelled  
"I am"

"That's enough!" Castle said "i don't want to hear another word from you Kate!"

he couldn't take the things she was saying... she was obviously not in the right mind to realize the things she was saying.

"You married me knowing I am a writer... I write when I'm inspired... I've been having writers block all week... and you coming home and yelling does not help one bit"

He was losing his cool too.

"So what..? I don't inspire you anymore? Is that what you're saying Castle?"

"That's not what I'm saying… you married me knowing I'm a writer... then why is it such a problem for you now!"

"Cause we have more responsibilities now! We're parents!"

""I've done this before with Alexis, Kate... I know what I'm doing!"

"I don't know what I'm doing. Why didn't you think of all this before asking me to marry you Castle... before showing me that ring?!" she spat out in anger

"Well your right! Maybe I shouldn't have proposed in the first place" he yelled!

And it took both of them exactly one second to realize what they had just said to each other...

and in the very next second... they looked into each other's eyes and a silent cry passed between them both that spoke in the air "I didn't mean it"..  
But that was it... it was a silent four words that their hearts spoke out to each other... nothing more was said out loud.. Until

"Castle... I think we should talk in the morning" she said without looking at him...  
Saying this she stormed out of his study and into their bedroom... closing the door behind her…

Castle ran his hand through his hair in frustration and sighed 'what just happened?' he thought to himself...  
he needed a glass of water to calm his nerves... he had never had to raise his voice that way at Kate before… and he was already feeling horrible about it.. Obviously... both of them had had a bad day and they had just taken out all their frustration on each other…

Castle walked into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water… he drank slowly and then went back into the study.. He shut down his laptop and turned off the lamp on his desk... he looked to the bedroom door...

he wanted to talk it all out with her tonight before they fell asleep… he wanted to apologize to her.. And he hoped she'd apologize too... it was never good to sleep with such a heavy heart... and with the things they had just said to each other… he knew exactly what a horrible night he'd have if they didn't talk it out now..

So he turned the knob of his bedroom door and just then Kate pulled the door open from inside and when he looked at her… her eyes were puffy red... her nose red from the wrath of the tissue she was holding in one hand… and that's when he noticed the bag in the other hand…

"Kate... where are you going?"

"I can't be here" was all she said as she rushed past him and walked away briskly…

Castle stood frozen… "What just happened?" he asked himself… and even before his head answered his thought... his heart led his feet to move quickly after her…

she was running… Like she always did… running when the relationship got complicated… running when something needed to be fixed between them… he couldn't let her run… for god sake they were married now... they have a kid together... they're supposed to talk things out... Fix these things when they come along…

when he reached the living room... and looked around... she was nowhere in sight…

suddenly he heard a sound from Alex's room. He ran in that direction "Kate!"

When he reached the door... he saw her lifting Alex from the bed and holding him close to her... letting him sleep on her shoulder… Castle's heart began to race.

"Kate... what are you doing?" he spoke softly... in an effort to not disturb their son's sleep… but she didn't answer him... she simply walked past him...

he went after her… asking again "Where are you going with him?"

she wasn't answering him… she neared the door and he grasped on to her elbow.. Stopping her from moving any further…

"What's going on Kate... we can talk this out… where are you going?"

She finally turned to Face him "I can't be here… this is not... I can't..." she was choking on her words...  
she finally found it in her to speak… "If you love me at all Castle... don't come after me now… I'll call you okay…"

saying this she turned and opened the door and walked out of the loft… taking their only son and Castle's crushed heart along with her…

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**AN: Please leave me a review... let me know what you think :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you for all your reviews. gets me to update faster ;) A lot of you want Beckett to suffer after what she did... well I've already written ahead a few chapters.. Im in the process of editing them.. and so it may or may not go the way you guys want :O but i hope you see my understanding of the situation and still read my story :)**

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle

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Chapter 3

Kate was broken... she couldn't believe what had just gone down between them at the loft… what happened between them… one minute she was asking him to explain why he left Alex unattended and the next minute they were questioning their marriage..

The argument played on and on in her head... making her heart ache… she hit the acceleration and drove faster now that there was a clear road ahead...

she looked into the rear mirror... adjusting it to check on her sleeping boy in the back seat... she had to wipe her teary eyes to get a good look of him…

He had no fault in this… Yet here she was... a mother taking her son away from his father… how was she supposed to explain all of this to her son... what if he wakes up in the middle of the night asking for his daddy…

Kate wanted to turn the car around and go back home.. But her mind told her not to... for fear of another horrible fight with the love of her life… she'd stay one night without Castle... and when she's had her space... she'd call him up… but for now.. she needed to be away…

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Jim Beckett was just finishing rinsing his plate when there was a knock on the door… he looked at the clock on the wall and found it odd that someone was at his door at this hour of the night…

he dried his hands and went to see who it was.. And the sight of his daughter with his sleeping grandson through the peephole made him worry...

he quickly unlocked the door and let them in… he didn't stop Kate to ask her anything yet... he knew there was probably a reason why her daughter was here.. Without her husband. There was probably a heart breaking reason behind the puffy red eyes his daughter was sporting... and if the reason was Castle himself… Jim was ready to go murder the man...

but he knew Castle was not a man to break Kate's heart... so he waited for Kate to tell him the real reason for her tears.

Kate walked upstairs to her old bedroom which was still well kept and laid her son down... she tucked him in and kissed him and came back down stairs to where her father was patiently waiting for her… the minute she came downstairs she walked straight into his arms and cried her heart out on her dads shoulder.. .

Jim knew that words would not help yet... and so he gave back to her the best form of comfort he knew... he held her tight and allowed her to cry it all out… she sobbed bitterly into his shoulder, letting the tears flow freely.. Not wanting to hold back anything here in her own home…

this was her father… the only man she never held walls up against. He was always on her side. She shook in sobs in her dads arms and it scared him a little to think that his daughter was so broken over something…

when she seemed to calm down a little… he led her to sit with him on the couch and then he said

"What happened?"

"Dad... I don't know… it's just been one of those days you wish never happened…"

"How about I make you a nice cup of coffee and you run me through everything that has happened today"

Kate shook her head and Jim went into the kitchen and returned soon with 2 warm cups of coffee for them.  
Kate took a sip and let the warmth fill her throat and relax her insides... it wasn't as good as Castle's coffee… and that hurt... but it was something…

"I went to the precinct this morning to be called to a crime scene straight away… and when I reached there… I wished I hadn't…  
Dad... it was a 3 year old boy... murdered along with his mother"

Kate was choking up again... the images still fresh in her mind… her dad reached out to hold her hand while she spoke.. In an attempt to comfort her...

he knew such a scene would hit home for her… Alex had just turned three and he knew her mind would have been conjuring up images in her head at that moment…

"Go on Kate…"

"We interrogated suspect after suspect and now were stuck with no leads and nowhere to go"

she paused then and continued after a few seconds...  
"We decided to sleep over it and come back with fresh minds tomorrow to catch that son of a bitch. But when I came home and saw Alex..."

Kate narrated everything that happened after that to her Dad...

she told him the things that were said... the accusations made and things that went down after that, that led to her at his front door… and when she was done telling him the entire story..

"I'm just so tired dad… my body aches... my chest aches… and I just don't want to fight him anymore... but I feel like if I go back now... if I see him... I'll just start yelling again and it will only make things worse..."

"I know what you mean Katie… but did it occur to you that just as you felt the need to bring Alex here with you because you can't stay without him… Rick would want to be able to hold his son too… you can't just take a child away from his father…"

"I know dad… I wasn't thinking at all when I left... I'm not going to keep him away forever... I'll go back home tomorrow afternoon" she decided…

"Katie... you and Castle need to talk... but I suggest you go and try to get some sleep… and you can go back home tomorrow morning… you need to rest.."

Kate nodded and said goodnight to her dad and went upstairs to join her son. And as she snuggled in beside him... protectively putting her arm around him... all she could think of was Castle.

She had treated him horribly tonight.. she had said things that were not really what she wanted to say...

She had no right whatsoever to comment on his parenting, let alone bring up the issue of his failed marriages. What was worse was the fact that she knew he wasnt the reason for his failed marriages.. yet she made it sound like he was the problem.

Castle is a great husband and a great father and all she did tonight, was criticize him for no good reason.

and whats her excuse? that she had a rough day?!

Kate felt unworthy, un-deserving of him.

She had accused him of not being able to take care of their son.. when actually he was the one looking after Alex all day while she was at the precinct putting killers behind bars..  
and she had the audacity to tell him her job was far more hectic compared to his!

Kate knew she may have ruined her relationship with Castle after this..

all she could do now.. was pray that they would talk tomorrow morning... and she could get him to forgive her...  
She'd take whatever he'll give her as long as he doesn't leave her.

There were around 50 missed calls from him on her phone... and it just kept ringing... and she was forcing herself to ignore them for now… she closed her eyes and concentrated on the slow rise and fall of Alex's chest as he slept... and that eventually lulled her to sleep...

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**AN: well.. what'd you think? :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

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Chapter 4

Castle hadn't slept the entire night… from the time Kate walked out the door he'd been feeling lost.. hurt.. angry! Mostly angry! How could she say those things to him... and then walk out of their home with their son because of a stupid fight! And he couldn't bring his mind to understand what he should do next...

Should he give her the space she asked him for...? or should he just go after her and talk things out…? He had an idea of where she could have gone... and he so badly needed to fix things before 7 am tomorrow morning…  
Kate had forgotten… and that hurt him all the more… no, wait! not hurt! Angered! or was it hurt?! he really couldn't discern!

How on earth was he supposed to react to something like this!? Kate knew all too well about his divorces.. she knows all to well how he gets when he writes.. She knows how amazing Alexis has turned out.. and yet she said those horrible things.. those false accusations!

And now... now that she had left.. he knew one thing for sure... She had forgotten. period. and even if she remembered... it didn't look like she was going to do anything about it. If she wasn't going to make the first move, He would have to go over there before 7 am tomorrow morning.

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It was 5.30 am... and Castle found himself standing outside the Beckett residence. He knocked on the door... knowing that Jim was an early riser. And right enough Jim opened the door to find Castle standing there…

"Rick, what are you doing here this early?"

"I need to see her Jim... please…" he spoke firmly

"I'm sorry Rick... but I can't let you in… She needs her rest... she told me she'd call you this morning... so just give her some time... she'll come around…"

"Jim you don't understand... I..."

"Maybe not... but I know this much... She loves you... and she will call you when she's ready…"

"How's Alex?"

"He's asleep with her"

Castle stood frozen for a moment... looking beyond Jim into his living room... and finally decided it was time to go…

"Tell her I said I'm sorry... and to come home soon.."

"I will"

Castle left the doorstep, got into his car and drove away...

Jim found it strange that Castle came at such early hours of the day.. But then again... love leads you place without your knowledge… He smiled to himself…

He'd tell Kate that Castle came to check on them later when she's awake... he was sure Kate would feel good that he came and that could be the first step towards making up.

Castle drove on… until he reached his destination... JFK airport.

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When Kate woke up the next morning... it took her a minute to recall the events that led her to be sleeping in her dads house… she sat up and rubbed her eyes... then looked at her son... he was just stirring awake from his sleep…

"Hey there handsome…" she smiled softly at her baby boy…

"Mommy... where's daddy?"

Her heart ached... the very first words from his lips today and he was asking about his dad and she felt guilty for taking him away from his home last night…

"Daddy's at home... don't you worry... we'll be on our way home now before you know it… and daddy will be waiting to see you"

Alex snuggled his face into his mother's side… wiping away the sleep from his eyes.

"Okay… come on now… I bet grandpa must have made you breakfast. Let me get you ready and then we can go home…" she carried him up and took him into the bathroom…

when she came downstairs... she handed Alex to her dad and then dialled the precinct's number. She spoke to gates and excused herself for the first half of the day.

When she went into the kitchen to join her dad and son who had already begun with breakfast, her Dad began to say…  
"He came over at around 5 this morning…"

Kate stopped in the middle of taking her first bite into the eggs her dad had prepared for her… confusion written all over her face.

"He was insisting that I let him come see you two.. but I told him there was no doubt that you'd be calling him up today as soon as you wake and that you'll be coming home today too… he looked so worried… so I told him not to stress and to just give you the space you need…"

Kate chuckled and looked down at her plate…  
"he came to check on us.." she admitted with a smile to herself…

but then she thought to herself.. 'Why was he up so early..? Or did he not sleep at all? But if he didn't sleep… and if he wasn't going to listen to her 'need for space', he would have come over last night itself"

It wasn't making sense in her head... but she knew one thing for sure... she wanted to go home right this moment and apologize to him.. And she prayed he'd forgive her…

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Kate drove on home with Alex in the passenger seat beside her… "Mommy… I want Daddy"

"we're almost home baby... just a few more minutes" she smiled at him...

she wished she could tell him how badly she wanted his daddy too… she hadn't called him yet... she didn't see a reason to call him if she was going home to him anyway now…

Kate turned the lock on the door and opened it…

"Castle.. Rick... I'm home…"

Kate walked to the couch and set Alex down to sit… "Stay still while I go find your daddy okay..."

Kate walked toward his study... where was he...? Had he fallen asleep?

He wasn't in his study either... she walked into the bedroom and the bathroom too... and began to panic when he wasn't there either…

"Castle!" she called out louder... now checking upstairs... she quickly dialled his number… her heart rate immediately racing… his number was switched off…

she quickly looked through her text messages.. She hadn't checked any of them since last night... there was just one from him and it was last night  
"come home..."

and that's when a small little yellow note on the kitchen counter caught her attention...

she picked it up and read.

"Kate, I think you forgot... but it's alright… I'm just glad you're home... even though you're a little late... I'm probably on my way to Canada right now… I just wish we could've gotten to talk before I left… I tried but… I'll call you okay."

And right at the end he wrote...  
"P.S. tell Alex I love him and I'll be back with a bunch of toys to make it up to him"

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**AN: Leave me a review :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

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Chapter 5

Kate had reached the couch now... reading and re-readin the letter over and over… how had she forgotten!?

He had told her a month in advance... and he'd been bringing it up this entire last week... he had book signings and readings that he had to go to Canada for, and he'd have to be there for three days…

Three whole days.. Just the thought of it made Kate want to bang her head against a wall!

She tried dialling his number again… but to no avail. He was probably still on the flight…

"Mommy... daddy's not home?" her son asked.

She sighed... and said "Im sorry Alex... your daddy had… he had to be somewhere..."

she leaned in and kissed him. "but he said that he loves you and that he's going to bring you so many toys when he comes back.." she tried to smile to make her son feel better.. But

"I want daddy!" he exclaimed, and his eyes began to get moist... his lips pouting and Kate wanted so badly to tell him his daddy will be home soon.. But she wouldn't lie to him... three days was gonna be a long time.

She carried Alex and whispered soft nothings in his ear... rubbing his back and soothing him...

"Hey baby... daddys gonna call as soon as he can and then you can talk to him over the phone okay… and when he's back you can punish him for leaving without saying goodbye to you.."

'That's exactly why he may have come to her dads place that morning.' she thought to herself. 'He just wanted to see them before he left... and he didn't get to do that either… Kates heart ached to think that this was how all of this was happening… she never thought it would go this way…

This was all her fault!

Whenever Rick had to leave for a few days… she'd help him pack the night before... cause he loved watching her fuss about what he should wear and what he shoudnt while he'was away.. And eventually they'd end up making love and making the most of the night they had, before he had to leave…

but this time... because of the fight she had started... Rick must have had to pack all on his own and they hadn't even kissed since that morning before she left for the precinct... and it made her feel horrible… it made her feel empty.

Castle would say goodbye to Alex... promising him a bunch of goodies when he gets back.. And they'd go to drop him off at the airport... and he'd kiss her passionately before leaving... just so she'd have something to remember when he's away…

Kate looked at her watch… it'was still early to try caling him.. she decided to just call Gate's and take the day off and spend some time with Alex today.. She didn't want to leave Alex with his grandpa... he was already hurt that Rick left without saying good bye and that was not Rick's fault at all.

* * *

It was afternoon now and she was playing with Alex… he seemed pretty engrossed in the mechanics of his remote control car… and suddenly he looked at Kate and said

"Mommy... I want to talk to daddy"

Kate reached for her phone and while dialling his number she said  
"I'm sure he's just as eager to hear you"

Kate put the phone to her ear and heard it ring on the other end.. She wondered how angry he must be... would he pick her call?  
And right enough... after the fifth ring, he did…

"Kate?"

"Rick… i…"

"Kate… I'm glad you called…"

"Rick..."

"Are you home?"

"Yea... uhhh…."

Kate didn't know what to say... should she apologize for leaving last night? Should she apologize for forgetting about his trip?

For someone who couldn't keep her big angry mouth shut last night... she was suddenly at aloss of words now…

"Daddy!" Alex called out from behind…

"He's been waiting to talk to you" she said and then put the phone on speaker… "Here..."

"Hey there little guy..."

"Daddy... when are you coming back?"

"I'll be back before you can say the word 'Transformers'"

"Twansformers"

Kate chuckled at what he did there… her son and the 'R's... it was gonna take a while.

She heard Rick laugh on the other end too and that was all she needed. To know that even if she couldn't make him smile... atleast Alex could.

"I miss you daddy"

"I miss you too Alex... but promise me you won't worry mommy too much when I'm gone okay?"

Alex looked up at his mommy and said  
"okay daddy... I won't"

"That's like my good boy... now give mommy a kiss from me and tell her u love her…"

Kate smiled... Rick didn't know he was on speaker... and it made her smile that Rick was sending her his love this way. Alex got up on his feet and onto his toes and Kate leaned down a little to help him reach her face and he planted a moist kiss on her cheek…

Kate then put the speaker off and took the phone to her ear… she ruffled her fingers through Alex's hair as he continued to play and stood up and walked into the kitchen to continue the call.

"Hey… so how was your flight?"

"It was... okay… what time did you come home?"

"It was late…"

"Yea…"

there was an awkward silence between them then... and Kate wanted to say so many things... but she didn't know where to start…

"Rick..."

"Kate..."

they spoke at the same time...

he chuckled lightly... and then continued...  
"we'll talk it out when im home… I'm trying to get them to finish up all the signings in two days…"

"Okay… but Rick..."

"I'm alright Kate… I had a little trouble finding my lucky shirt though…" he laughed and Kate smiled too. It was the shirt she had gifted him... she loved how it looked on him… blue... brought out the blue of his eyes. And he'd call it his lucky shirt.

"I love you Rick… and I miss you"

"I'll be back before Alex says transformers"  
he joked.

She laughed and wiped the tear that was forming in her eye… "You have got to stop teasing him Rick!" she playfully threatened.

"What will you do to me if I don't?"

"Why don't you come home soon and find out..." she teased.

"I'll look forward to it…"

she bit on her lip… what made her yell at this sweet man she had no idea... she was sooo wrong!

"You do have to make it up to me... we didn't get to have our night before I left..."

"Yea... I'll make it up to you... I promise..."

she smiled... she really would... she had a lot to make up for… the way she treated him that night was just not acceptable.

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Castle knew that Kate would probably feel like hell when she came home to find him gone... and so he had decided that he wouldn't make it harder for her when he spoke to her after landing in Canada.

He could be the angry husband that taunts his wife from another country if he wanted to, but no. he wasn't that kind of guy.

Of course he was still upset... but they would deal with that when he got back home. For now... he'd talk to her, call her up, check on her... After all... he would honestly miss her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

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Chapter 6

Castle had managed to finish up all the readings and signings within two days and decided to come home un-announced

It was 10 pm when he reached the loft and he couldn't wait to see his family. God he missed them so much! he turned the key and opened the door. He dragged his bags in and set them down next to the couch and went in search of his wife and son.

When he came to Alex's room, The little boy was sound asleep. He walked into the room and knelt beside the bed and ran his hand through his son's soft brown curls.

He had hair just like his mother. Rick smiled. He loved this boy to the moon and back. Their son. He was the fruit of their love and he was what will always keep them together... no matter how huge a fight they have... none of them would ever want to hurt him.. Rick kissed Alex on his head and whispered to him "I'll see you tomorrow morning big guy".

He turned and quietly made his way through the study and into his bedroom only to hear the sound of a running shower from the bathroom.

She must have just gotten some time to herself after putting Alex to sleep. He looked around the room, wondering if he should just wait here or out in the living room.

But even before he could answer that thought, he heard the taps go off and in the next minute, the door opened.  
And his Kate,  
his smart, sexy, hot detective... his wife… came walking out in her PJs, wiping her hair with a towel, not realizing the presence of someone in her room. The sight of her made his heart leap.

But nothing else. He didn't act upon it. His heart felt cold. He was still upset even though he was glad to see her. he was still angry. The memories of that night, still so fresh in his mind.

"Hey" he said...

* * *

Kate was dead tired... they had finally caught that son of a bitch today and put him behind bars! And it had been a tiring day chasing after him.  
She had even hurt herself in the process of taking him down and her shoulder was bruised.

She had gone over to her dads place to pick Alex up after duty and then come home, changed into something more comfortable and snuggled with her son on the couch with Superman playing on their flat screen and a warm dinner that she had prepared for them.

When Alex began to doze off, she carried him to his room and tucked him in, promising him that it was just one more day he'd have to wait, until his daddy came home. And with that, Alex fell asleep.

Kate, now, finally having time to herself, stripped off her clothes and went in for a shower. Washing off the dirt and grime from her body at the end of the day always made her feel better, homely.

The sting she felt when the water touched her shoulder was excruciating and she wanted to groan aloud. But she kept it in her.

She shampooed and rinsed her hair too and when she was finally done, she put on her PJs and walked out, wiping her hair, and thinking about calling Castle up, to check on how he was doing.

They had spoken over the phone twice after that first call. He seemed… alright… but she knew he was holding back. If anyone could see through him, It was her.

He sure wasn't hiding his hurt well enough, even though he was trying, for her sake.

And it pained her all the more. She needed him to come home soon so that they could fix this. She was ready to do anything for him.

She just wanted him to be Himself again.

She wanted him to honestly tell her she had been a bitch to him that day…

she wanted him to yell at her… she deserved nothing better.

She wanted… she wanted…

she just wanted him home…

Kate was startled with the low voice of the man she'd come to love the most. When she looked up to find him standing there, she froze!

"Hey" he had said.

"Rick… you're here" she said. more to herself than to him.

"Yea... I'm home"

"oh Rick…" she exclaimed as she ran into his arms and buried her head into his chest... the smell of him was comforting... the feel of his chest under her cheek, his arms around her body, his breath against her hair.. She was melting into him... the way he was holding her though…

She knew he wasn't fully into it. But they both needed this.

She closed her eyes and focused on the warmth of him… everything about him was intoxicating...

Really! What on earth made her hurt him so bad!

She didn't realize how long she may have been hugging him. But soon he tugged at her to look at him and she looked deep into his eyes for the first time since the night she left.

And they didn't have that spark in them. The one she loved. He was obviously still hurting... and that pained her.

His eyes were cold.

Rick took hold of both of her hands... distancing himself a little and said softly... "Come on... let's talk..."

* * *

**Review please :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

* * *

Chapter 7

He led them through the bedroom door and into the study where he sat on the couch and she sat beside him... angling themselves towards each other...

"Rick... I was way out of line... I said such horrible things to you... and I just wish I could take it all back…"

"Kate…" he said… his eyes focused on the ground.

"Let me finish... I said things that I didn't mean… I love you because you are a writer... I fell for you because of your passion of writing… and that makes you passionate about everything you do… and that's why I love you Rick...  
and I didn't mean what I said that day… I don't regret anything about us… hell! I love us... I love what we have... I love how we work... I love how we balance each other out... we make things work... and my life has never been so sorted before I met you…"

"I know Kate…"

Kate stood  
"I treated you cheap. You have every reason to be angry with me…" she explained.

"You left…"

"I did. I got scared and I ran..."

Kate was pacing the floor in front of him now... her eyes moist at the memory of that evening.

"And I regretted it so much after I left... but I couldn't bring myself to turn the car around and come back... I was so afraid that we would only end up saying much more horrible things to each other if I came back..."

"You took Alex away…" the hurt and anger all too evident in his tone. But he spoke firmly.. His eyes still trained on the floor…

"Rick… I thought, that all I had done by then was the most damage I could do in one night... but then I came home the next morning and…"

"I had already left…" he stated.

"... I have no idea how it slipped my mind… every day that week I kept reminding myself about it... but that night... I just forgot… and gosh I felt so stupid when I came home to that letter... I felt like the worst wife on the planet…."

"Kate…"

"Rick... I'm so sorry… I'm sorry I left... I'm sorry I took Alex away... I'm sorry I forgot about your trip and that I wasn't here when you had to leave… I'm just... I'm such a mess Castle!"

There was a minute of silence between them.

Kate turned to look at him,  
"I missed you so much Rick…" a tear rolled down her cheek and there was silence again.

She took the few steps between them. Closing the distance, she knelt before him and held his face in her hands, making him look at her.

He wasn't saying anything, not reacting in any way. Not a word left his lips. And it scared her.  
She was beginning to get really worried that this was not going well.

"Rick... talk to me…" she chocked on a sob. And put her forehead to his. Their eyes were closed. "Talk to me... please…" she was crying, pleading with him.

She so badly needed him to connect with her. She needed to know they were still one. They'd work things out. Another tear rolled down her cheek and she placed a soft kiss on his lips. It was dripping with apology. It was her kiss of surrender.

The ball was in his court now.

She breathed him in, and tried the last time. "I'm sorry Castle… I love you. Always"

She heard him take a breath near her lips. And then he spoke.

"You're right… You are a mess..."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

* * *

Chapter 8

"You're right, you are a mess"

She tried pulling back to look at him. But he spoke before she moved away. He caught both of her wrists and moved them away from his face, now looking directly at her with eyes that she'd never seen before.

He was finally going to speak out his anger.

"You left!" he yelled

"After accusing me of being a horrible parent! You took my son away, as if it meant nothing to me!"

He was venting out. And she shivered. She'd never seen him loose his cool. And it scared the daylights out of her.  
His grip on her wrists was tight but she deserved this.

"You walked out of our home like it was okay, and then you ignored every call and text."

"Castle... i…"

"No!" he let go of her wrists and stood up, walked to his desk and leaned against it. Taking a minute to himself. He ran his hand through his hair. Then looked back at her and said

"You blamed me for my failed marriages…"

"Rick... I wasn't thinking..."

"You're damn right you weren't thinking!" he spat out.

And they were quiet for a minute after that. The only sound in the room was that of Kate's heavy breathing between sobs.

"You weren't here when I had to leave... hell! You didn't even remember I had to leave"

Kate couldn't face him. She stared blankly at the ground, tears rolling down her cheeks; she was un-able to look her husband in the eye. She had been so inconsiderate that night. Really... what was she thinking?

"An average man would never tolerate any of what you said last night Kate…"

Kate's mind reflected on the words he just said.  
And her heart stooped.

Was he..? Was he going to leave her? Was he going to say he can't do this anymore? Can't be 'them'?

Kate looked around at him. Fear filling her heart.

"Castle don't…" she lost her words after that.  
'Don't leave me' is what she wanted to say. But she couldn't say it… saying it would make it real.

He looked at her and continued "You're lucky I'm not an average man Kate…"

Kate just stared at him blankly.

he took a deep breath, calming his nerves. And then he spoke in a softer tone.

"you're a mess… but you're a beautiful mess… you're a mess that I love… and even though I want so bad to do to you, what you did to me that night.. I can't. And it frustrates me…!"

he walked to where she was sitting, held her hand and made her stand up before him.

"You frustrate me Kate Beckett"

He lightly moved his nose against the skin on her jaw, her neck, breathing her in.

"You're a mess that I love… and you hurt me.. All the time… but I won't ever let that take you away from me…"

"Rick..."

He began softly kissing her neck. And she still felt so unworthy… why was he making love to her…  
she felt his teeth scrape against her skin and his tongue lave over it…

"I don't deserve this…"

"Now let me talk okay…" he breathed at her skin and then looked at her  
she nodded...

"I was on a deadline that night... and I know that doesn't explain how ignorant I was being to you… but just so you know... there was a baby monitor in the living room… I would have woken up in a minute or two with the sound of Alex and his toys… you must have entered the room the moment he got up..."

Kate mentally slapped herself... of course... there was a baby monitor… now she just didn't deserve this man at all.

While still nuzzling his face at skin. They sat on the couch then.

he looked at her, at her lips, and back into her eyes. She watched him intently…

"I said some pretty awful things to you too that night... and I hate myself for it... but Kate... I want you to know... however much we argue and fight... there's nothing we can't fix..."

He leaned in and touched his lips to hers… and he kissed her, sucking on her lower lip, tasting her, his hand making its way to her back, where he played with the soft, damp ends of her hair. His other hand caressing her face…

And his touch made her shiver… they kissed for a while. both, revelling in the feel of the other after these last few lonely nights… after being away from each other… not just physically… but emotionally too.. Their souls had disconnected the night she left the loft… but right now... she could feel them reconnecting…

when he pulled away… she had just one thing to ask him…

she put her hands on his chest and said "Do you forgive me?"

"you and i... we've been through so much together.. And a fight like this is nothing compared to the battles we've fought..."

"We were on the same side that time Castle.."

"We still are. We've survived much worse Kate… this isn't about forgiveness and apologies. I just want you to realize that you said a lot of things that day and they were more than enough to ruin our relationship.

I know whatever happened that night was a result of a crappy day... and I understand where you came from…"

"you do..? "

"I do..." he smiled…

"now… I was a little angry that you forgot about my trip... I was even more upset that I didn't get to see you or Alex before leaving... but I'm willing to put that behind us... if you're willing to promise me, that you won't run away when things get complicated between us…"

"I promise you Rick... I'm done running… I'm madly in love with you… and I'm not going to risk losing you ever again…"

Rick caressed her cheek with his palm and said... "You do know I'm still angry with you right?"

She kissed his palm and said... "I know… and I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you"

* * *

**Reviews? :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

* * *

Chapter 9

He chuckled and then leaned in to steal a kiss from the love of his life... and when he pulled away... she opened her eyes to look at him… and said..

"You have no idea how torturous these last few days have been without those lips of yours"

"I think I have a pretty good idea..."

and the smile she wore was suddenly attacked by a pair of hungry lips… his arms went around her... she weaved her fingers in his hair.. Their lips, quenching a thirst they'd been sporting ever since that night...

he kissed her passionately... leaving her breathless...

every time they pulled away in need of a breath... they connected just as quickly… she missed him so much and she was so glad they could be 'them' again.

"You promised me something that day on the phone…" he spoke between kissing

"yea?" she asked

"yea… it had something to do with… making it all up to me…"

she laughed... partly cause of the things she wanted to do with him tonight... partly cause he was sucking and nipping his tongue on a ticklish spot on her neck under her ear…

"Hmmm…" was all she could manage to say... She could hardly concentrate on anything now that he was kissing down her neck and shoulder…

his hands touched her reverently… and as he slowly pulled the neckline of her t-shirt to expose more of her creamy skin.. His hand must have brushed over her bruised skin because she flinched under his touch and he immediately backed away…

"What's wrong…?" he asked…

"It's nothing…"  
Castle slowly turned her around and took off her t-shirt... he placed his hands on her back and she closed her eyes… he traced the outline of the purple mark on her skin with his fingers. And then leaned down and placed a gentle kiss over it.

She smiled.

He then whispered at her neck… "This is what happens to you when I'm not around…"

She chuckled. It was just like him to say such a thing… but really… for some reason, she couldn't deny it. This case would have been so much easier if he was around…

he pushed her hair to the side, over her shoulder and then kissed along her spine.

"Castle…" she breathed his name… his fingers leaving goose bumps in their path…

She turned around and began unbuttoning his shirt and he watched her fingers… as they opened each button and then slid the soft material off his shoulders… and let it fall to the ground.

He pulled her flush to his body… his eyes darkening with lust for her…

"How about we take this to the bedroom…?"

"Hmmm…" her mouth unable to say anything, her body feeling too much at once…

he chuckled and carried her up in his arms and took her into their bedroom… closing the door behind them…

and the idea of sleep never came to them that night. For they had more important tasks to complete.

When Kate's eyes opened the next morning… she smiled… last night had definitely been one of their top five. Yea. Without doubt.

Her shoulder bruise was nothing compared to the mark her fingers created on his back last night… she bit her lip at the memory… she turned around, wanting to see the subject of her thoughts, but had to do a double take when the space behind her was empty… she sat up... where was he?

'Oh God! Don't tell me it was all just a dream' she thought… a bitter taste making it to her throat… she wanted to scream…

and that's when she heard it… the sound of laughter… from a child's lips.. It was Alex.

She quickly threw the covers off and rushed out of the bedroom and through the study, only to find Alex seated on his high chair, banging his spoon on an empty plate. And giggling whole heartedly.

Kate took a few more steps towards him and then saw the man behind the kitchen counter… clad in only his track pants, making two steaming mugs of coffee…

he was really here… last night wasn't just a dream.. It really happened…

he looked up and saw her. And smiled. "Hey beautiful!" he said

"Hey" she smiled back…

"Did you have a good night?" he teased.

"She came around the counter, closer to him, got on her toes and whispered  
"yup. And a good morning too. but you weren't around to watch…"

she got back down, turned and took her coffee and went to her son's side with a sly smile on her face and a very purposeful sway in her hips… leaving Castle slack jawed…

"Hey sweetie… good morning... did daddy wake you?"

"Yea... Daddy silly!" he laughed

Kate looked up at Castle for an explanation.

"I thought I'd go to his room before he woke up and place all his new toys around his bed to surprise him. But I tripped over one of the toys and he woke up and saw me fallen on the ground."

Kate laughed out loud and so did her little toddler…  
Castle took his last sip from his mug and then said "come on now big guy… time to get you ready for a day out…" he came around the counter and carried Alex out of the chair.

Kate took a sip from her mug, the beautiful liquid warming her insides. And then she said, "Where are we going today…"

Castle looked at her intently, wondering if he heard right…

"Don't you have to be at the precinct today?" he place Alex down to go play with his new toys in the living room and then leaned against the counter, facing Kate.

"Yea… but I'm going to call gates and ask for the day off. I want to be with my family today."  
she leaned in and softly kissed his lips, her palms feeling up his warm chiselled chest, and when she pulled away, the most charming smile adorned the face of her husband.

"Really?" he asked.

"Really "she confirmed with laughter in her tone.

"This is awesome… okay. Change of plans… I've got better places in mind to go to today… let me just go make a few calls okay…"

he leaned in again, stealing a chaste kiss from her lips again and then ran off to find his phone.

Kate smiled after him. Yup, they were all home now… and Life wouldn't be the same without this man-child of her husband to keep her on her toes.

* * *

**The End.**

**thoughts? **


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